Congress hurts Bush’s feelings
This past Friday, the House passed a concurrent resolution that announced it “disapproves of the decision of President George W. Bush announced on Jan. 10, 2007, to deploy more than 20,000 additional United States combat troops to Iraq.” What an effective and constructive use of our legislature! The men and women we’ve elected are the pinnacle of power in our country; their very words can determine how textbooks will be written in 50 years. And their response to Bush’s plan – which runs counter to all expert opinion and endangers even more lives in a destructive war – is to essentially announce that they’re not mad, just disappointed. If you disapprove, Congress, represent our interests as your jobs mandate and do something!

Hardaway: Meant ‘Hate’ Sarcastically
A week ago, former NBA center John Amaechi, in an act of integrity and courage, became the first major American sports player to come out as gay. Afterward, in a show of intolerance and bigotry, former guard Tim Hardaway announced “I hate gay people.” Despite his obligatory and hollow agent-mediated apology released the next day, Hardaway demonstrates the incredible amount of homophobia still present today. In an age of same-sex marriage bans and “cures” for homosexuality, Amaechi has done well to expand awareness in the sports world.

All scientists agree – it’s getting hot in here
Well, not literally all, but the vast majority now concur that global warming is occurring, and we’re to blame. The UN’s Panel on Climate Change collaborated with 600 scientists to release its fourth report since 1992, and they just keep getting more and more ominous. It states that greenhouse gases we’ve released are very likely (over 90 percent chance) the culprit for escalating temperatures, and all models predict the trend to accelerate. The good news: very little. Our national government has done essentially nothing to combat this approaching catastrophe, and nearly a fifth of the public still doesn’t believe global warming exists, although that number is shrinking. However, our scientists are the proverbial canaries in the coalmine, and we’ve shown the ability to listen before. Additionally, we’ll have a new president in a few years. Hopefully it won’t be too late.

Swimsuit edition arrives; productivity plummets
The annual Sports Illustrated soft-core periodical was published this week, and unsurprisingly, men approved. Beyonc‚ added nearly-nude photography to her extensive list of talents and appears on the cover. The SI Web site, meanwhile, devotes a significant portion of its main page to promoting the 46th edition, usurping stories such as the NBA All-Star Game or College Basketball’s stretch run. I could conclude with a criticism of how the issue perpetuates female stereotypes, or perhaps argue the opposite, but I admit I have no strong opinion and just included this bit to attract the eye and get you reading.

Entirely meaningless sports quotation of the bi-week
“I can’t handle any more press criticism of Rex Grossman.they’re focusing on this guy like they don’t focus on anybody! And I tell you, I know what it is. The media, the sports media, has got social concerns that they are first and foremost interested in, and they’re dumping on this guy – Rex Grossman – for one reason, folks, and that’s because he is a white quarterback.” -Rush Limbaugh
Rush, for once, has a point here. All throughout NFL history, the white quarterback has quietly been the recipient of years of prejudice. Poor Peyton Manning, Brett Favre, Dan Marino, Joe Montana, Terry Bradshaw, Johnny Unitas, Bart Starr – all of these tortured souls weren’t given their due because of the goddamed white-hating media! You can find this injustice wherever you look: only 30 white quarterbacks are in the Hall of Fame (that’s right, thousands of noble Caucasians who played the position have been excluded). Recently, a non-white QB was inducted. Damn a society where an earnest white man can’t even catch a break.
Have any issues with my unique brand of infotainment? Want to ask a question, call attention to a story, or maybe just curse up a storm? Facebook or e-mail me.

Joey is a freshman in Arts & Sciences. He can be reached via e-mail at [email protected]

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