It finally happened. We managed to collectively screw up enough times that the Greek Life Office has effectively and without warning banned alcohol from all sorority and fraternity sponsored events. Period. Before I discuss the intricacies of this decision I need to clear a few things up.

I have recently been accused of being too fratty for my own damn good and that I pose a clear and present danger to the sanctity of the college experience here at Washington University. I have been accused of promoting the idea that “frat parties” are the only way to have fun here and that if you don’t attend them that you’re worthless and that you are probably someone that I have hit or plan on hitting with my horse drawn carriage while on my way to the Queen’s tea party. This criticism came about due to my rebuttal to Joshua Trein’s article which claimed that all fraternity members are gang rapists and that all sorority girls are idiotic airheads who have to buy their friends. Nowhere was the party scene mentioned in either article, so I have no idea how this topic came about but because it is relevant I shall discuss it.

I personally hate fraternity parties. I don’t enjoy listening to the same crap they play on the radio when I go to parties nor do I enjoy listening to girls scream “Ohmygawd I am, like, so drunk!!$!@#@!#$” When I DJ at parties here on campus and try to introduce new music that they don’t play on MTV I am harassed by drunk people who want me to play music they can “grind on chicks to.” If anyone out there can tell me where House Music originated I’ll take you out and buy you a drink, because I sure as hell haven’t run into any of you at any of the parties I’m forced to preside over here. If my detractors out there who think I am Super Fratty had been with me at the Love Parade 2001 or 2002 in Berlin or Pacha in Ibiza last summer they probably would think twice about my dedication to the “frat party scene.” The point is, it’s not my scene, but I’m forced to deal with it.

Unfortunately, St. Louis is not Berlin and the parties here on campus are, for the most party, the only alternative for those people who are under 21 and who wish to drink with friends and listen to music. It just so happens that the student groups with the resources best suited to throwing parties are fraternities. Every time my fraternity throws a party the vast majority of people who show up are non-Greek, so the problem isn’t confined to Greeks, but instead is a community wide problem. The problem I am referring to, and the problem that GLO is trying to prevent, is that of alcohol abuse by students at Washington University.

While I was gone last year you people managed to send 25 of your classmates to the hospital due to alcohol poisoning. Just in the past 30 days four kids our age died across the nation from alcohol abuse. One of them had been “shamed” and his friends were too busy writing racial slurs on him to notice that he was dying. The University does not wish this to happen here on campus so they have decided to ban alcohol at all Greek functions. I feel like I am casting pearls before swine, but I was asked to comment on this so I shall do it again. When you attempt to legislate behavior nothing happens. Punishing unwanted behavior only causes the behavior to become hidden; it does not abolish it. Any first year psych student knows that, but why does everyone behave as if it’s not true?

I said this last time and I’m going to say it again. As the alcohol policy here becomes stricter, more and more students are overdosing on hard alcohol because they pre-party before going to parties. Now that no alcohol will be available for anyone at any Greek party, think more of this will happen? Or do you think that people will stop drinking? While thinking about this my head asploded.

The only way to prevent from happening here what has, sadly, happened way too often is for us to truly be our brother’s keeper. When you drink with a friend make sure you keep it within certain limits. If one of your friends dies on your watch you are the only person to blame. Not Greek Life, not WUPD, not the University.

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