In defense of “Wild Wild West”
Scott Bressler
Our “In defense of…” series
We here at Cadenza acknowledge that we do our fair share of hating. We are unafraid to call a spade a spade, but we realize that that blade has two edges. Sure, we mock those who find enjoyment in Nickelback or Michael Bay movies, but some of us on staff have some fairly embarrassing songs on our iPods, some movies in our collection that we pretend were gifts. But why the guilt? If it gives you pleasure, wear it on your sleeve. If you can’t successfully defend your reasons for liking a piece of pop culture, then maybe you should reconsider whether or not you actually like it. In our new feature “In defense of.” Cadenza sets out to destroy the concept of the guilty pleasure. Our writers will air their now guiltless pleasures weekly for all to see and attempt to defend them in the public forum. In an attempt to engender a sense of artistic freedom across campus we encourage you to go to www.studlife.com and join in the discussion on our message boards. Deride those who have derided others so often. Let us know that we’re a bunch of sniveling hacks not worthy of the moniker “clown shoes.” To kick things off some of Cadenza’s finest defend a few rotten oysters they feel may contain a pearl.
Like all decent Americans, I like four things in my movies: violence, nudity, comedy and racism. In 1999 I was 13, meaning my ability to get these things was slightly limited by my ability to convince my mom to drive me to the theater and give me the cash to enjoy my God-given right to unwholesome entertainment.
Thus “Wild Wild West,” the glorious film starring Will Smith, Kevin Kline and Selma Hayek, was a godsend. While it didn’t excel at any of the four outright it touched on all with a grace that’s hard to find.
Violence. Sure, it’s not Crank or Battle Royale or Saw 18, but the gun fights, bar brawls and giant mechanical spider destroying the American western landscape have a playfully brutal charm. Keep in mind the plot revolves around a necklace, which leads to the wearer’s head being chopped off by flying blades. I mean, come on, that’s brilliant.
Nudity. OK, granted, there isn’t any real nudity. I mean you do get a decent look at Selma Hayek’s butt through the back flap of a pair of long johns, and at 13 that was more than enough. And now, through the magic of the pause button, you can get a pretty good look at Will Smith’s balls. When he’s sliding out of the water tower in the opening scene, you get a quick glimpse of his sack on the way down. Pretty hot. Also a lot of the movie takes place in various bars/brothels, so there is plenty of opportunity to see girls dressed up in very slutty can-can girl attire.
Comedy. Granted Wild Wild West isn’t the best comedy out there, but the puns make it worth the 107 minutes. Plus, most of the comedy includes a fair amount of racism. Mind you, not just racism, but also jokes about ethnicity and physical handicaps. It may help to know that Will Smith, as well as his character Jim West, is an African-American, and that Dr. Loveless has lost both of his legs in the Civil War.
Dr. Loveless: Mister West! How nice of you to join us tonight and add COLOR to these monochromatic proceedings!
West: Well when a fella comes back from the dead, I find that an occasion to STAND UP and be counted!
Dr. Loveless: Miss East informs me that you were expectin’ to see General McGrath here. Well, I knew him years ago, but I haven’t seen him in a COON’s age!
West: Well, I can see where it’d be difficult for a man
of your stature to keep in touch with even HALF the people you know.
Dr. Loveless: Well, perhaps the lovely Miss East will keep you from bein’ a SLAVE to your disappointment!
West: Well, you know beautiful women; they encourage you one minute, and CUT THE LEGS OUT from under you the next.
Comedic gold. Now tell me again why I shouldn’t buy this when I find it in the five-dollar bin at Wal-Mart. Oh right, you can’t. It has everything anyone’s looking for in a movie.
Popularity: unranked [?]
Related Posts
Print This Post