Guitar Wolf: The coolest band on Earth?
Margaret BauerGuitar Wolf with The International Playboys, Ded Bugs, Corbeta Corbata, the Electric
Wed., March 23 at the Creepy Crawl, 412 N. Tucker
Doors open at 7 p.m.
$10 for 21+, $12 for under 21
Guitar Wolf is much cooler than me. Chances are they are also much cooler than you. I’ll keep score of how cool they are, just so you can get a sense. Guitar Wolf is a three-piece Japanese (+10 points) punk/garage band (+20) who dress in black leather (+10), drink beer and smoke cigarettes (+10) and wear sunglasses, even in the dark (+5). The trio-Guitarwolf Seiji (+5), Drumwolf Toru (+5) and Basswolf Billy (+10, for alliteration)-is often described as “the loudest band on the planet” (+5). Guitar Wolf plays loud, fast, gritty rock ‘n’ roll inspired by the likes of The Ramones and Joan Jett at volumes designed to destroy expensive stereo equipment (+30). With album titles like “Rock ‘n’ Roll Etiquette” and song titles like “Kawasaki ZII750 Rock ‘n’ Roll” (+20), Guitar Wolf does not fuck around, and they even include a fair amount of covers of classic rock ‘n’ roll songs-including an awesome version of “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction” (+10). Best of all, Guitar Wolf have their own documentary, “Wild Zero.” It recounts the time when flesh-eating zombies AND aliens (+30) tried to kill everyone on earth and Guitar Wolf had to stop them (+50), with violence (+50). Maybe it isn’t a documentary, but this movie is full of guns, gore and rock (+50): the subtitles have “fuck” spelled with 10 ‘u’s and eight exclamation marks-”FUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!” (+180). Try watching the movie and taking a drink every time a) somebody says “rock ‘n’ roll”, b) somebody combs his hair, c) anytime anything blows up and d) anytime fire shoots out of anything. You’ll probably die (+1,000), and they don’t even care-that’s how awesome Guitar Wolf is. The band is scheduled to play a show on Wed., March 23 at the Creepy Crawl, where they will undeniably rock.
Coolness Total: 1,500
Popularity: 1% [?]
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