Am I “sexually active”? I feel like I’m always hearing this question, but I don’t know if I am sexually active or not. What is the exact definition?

Whether or not you are “sexually active” really depends on your definition of sexually active. There isn’t one all-encompassing definition of sexually active. Every person defines for himself or herself what that means. For some people, being sexually active means some type of vaginal or anal sex, for some it means oral sex, and for other it might mean deep or French kissing. This is by no means an exhaustive list. Being sexually active has more to do with how you perceive and classify your own actions rather than how a dictionary would categorize them for you. Keep in mind that the same goes for defining abstinence. Some people say abstinence means no touching at all, while others define it as not having penetrative sex. And the definitions range from everything in between. The most important thing is that if you choose to be “sexually active,” you need to feel comfortable with what you are doing. It also helps if you and your partner(s) are on the same page about things. If you think you are abstaining from sex and your partner thinks that the oral sex you’ve been having is “sex,” then it might be time to discuss what you’re doing and what it means to both of you. So the next time you are asked about being sexually active, ask what is meant in the specific context – you’ll be giving whoever is asking more correct information, and you’ll make them think about being more specific with their questions.

I know that I need to go for my “well woman” annual exam (it’s been about a year) but I recently started getting my pubes totally waxed, and I’m really embarrassed to go. Is the doctor going to think I’m a freak?

It’s great that you kept track and remembered that you need to go for your yearly well woman exam. As far as your pubic hair, or the lack thereof, it’s a personal choice. If you think your health care provider hasn’t seen a shaved pootie before, think again. There is not a standard way one’s pubes should look; some people go for a shaved ‘do, others just trim, and some ladies just let the bush grow wild and free. If your health care provider does make you feel uncomfortable because of any aspect of your body, it might be time to find another provider. It’s really important that you feel comfortable and trust your provider, because it’s someone you should be able to talk with about your personal health issues and concerns. Wash U is very lucky to have Stacy Selbert, who is a Women’s Health Nurse Practitioner, as well as Dr. Gary Wasserman, who is an OB/GYN. You can schedule your appointment (935-4996) with either one of these professionals and be treated with care and respect.

Questions?

How many times have you had a question about your body or your health that you felt weird asking a friend or someone older? Especially when it’s about sex? Jill Ringold, who received her master’s degree in Public Health and is a certified health education specialist, is the health educator in the Office of Health Promotion and Wellness. And she’s here to help answer those questions that you really want to ask. If you want to submit a question, please send it to [email protected] or via our anonymous portal on the Student Life website (www.studlife.com).

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This entry was posted on Monday, March 1st, 2004 at 12:00 pm and is filed under Cadenza. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.