My roommate and I were talking about spring break and got into a debate about having sex on a beach. She thinks it would be very romantic, but I think it sounds like a bad idea. Are there any real reasons why you shouldn’t have sex on a beach?

I guess that all of this snow and cold weather have you dreaming of sunshine and beaches … I don’t blame you! The main reason that you wouldn’t want to have sex on a beach is that sand is sharp. It may feel soft beneath your feet, but sand is actually incredibly abrasive. When you have sex, the grains can be pushed into the vagina or anus. The sharp edges can be enough to put a hole in a condom, increasing your risk of pregnancy or infection. What’s more, as sand enters the vagina or anus, it can scratch and irritate the sensitive skin. These abrasions make it easier for many STDs-including HIV-to enter the body, and if you’re not protected, risks are even higher. You may also want to think about the whole privacy thing-chances are you won’t be the only people on the beach. It can be hard to be intimate and really relax and enjoy a sexual experience with someone while you’re constantly looking over your shoulder, wondering who may be walking by or watching.

Is there such a thing as emotionally practicing safer sex? I mean, physically I could have sex, but emotionally, I’m afraid of getting something. Is it “safe” to wait just because you are scared of STDs? Am I just being uptight?

You are definitely not being uptight. As you learn about the potential risks and consequences of being sexually active, it’s natural to be apprehensive about putting yourself in a situation that could lead to negative outcomes. You make decisions all of the time about putting yourself at risk, having nothing to do with sexual health, that evolve from weighing positives and negatives. Do I want to drink? If I work out today, do I have enough time to study? Should I get in the car with this guy? How much sleep do I need before my test? Do I really want this cigarette?

Being ready to be sexually active with a partner doesn’t just mean being physically ready. Your emotions play a much larger role. If you are apprehensive, for whatever reason, then you are probably not ready right now. You might want to find ways to explore your own body, both for pleasure and to gain emotional confidence in talking with a partner about why your body is so important and why being “safe” is necessary for you to be intimate with another person.

If you feel like your fears about disease and sex are “taking over” your ability to enjoy relationships, then you might want to talk with a counselor about your feelings. If more people took the time to think about all of the issues surrounding being sexually active, they would probably make better decisions about how to be safer and protect themselves.

Talking with a potential partner about your desire to be safe and your hesitancy to be intimate because you are concerned about infections can help. Try to let your partner understand that this is stemming from your own personal feelings about the subject, and does not reflect on his/her likelihood of having an STD. People can get defensive if they feel like they are the reason you don’t feel comfortable.

Keeping yourself safe “above the waist” is as important as “below.” If you are not emotionally ready-don’t rush it. If you want more information about STDs or safer sex, you are welcome to come speak with me, or you can call and make an appointment at Student Health and Counseling (5-6695) to speak with Stacy Selbert, who is a Women’s Health Nurse Practitioner.

Questions?

How many times have you had a question about your body or your health that you felt weird asking a friend or someone older? Especially when it’s about sex? Jill Ringold, who received her master’s degree in Public Health and is a certified health education specialist, is the health educator in the Office of Health Promotion and Wellness. And she’s here to help answer those questions that you really want to ask. If you want to submit a question, please send it to [email protected] or via our anonymous portal on the Student Life website (www.studlife.com).

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This entry was posted on Friday, February 6th, 2004 at 12:00 pm and is filed under Cadenza. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.