The Thinker
Ok, I’ll admit it. I was one of the blissfully ignorant drones that walked by the “construction” outside of Mallinkrodt and never asked the 11 million dollar question, “why am I walking on wood chips with an orange fence blocking my regular direction of travel?” Well, dear friends, I’m still a drone, but I live in ignorant darkness no longer.
They built a rabbit, a giant rabbit, a giant rabbit that is nothing more than a twelve-foot receipt for the tricks that were no doubt turned with awkward skill one evening up in South Brookings. I’ve heard that this rabbit will take the place of our historically enduring clock tower on the South Forty, where students congregate and discuss the fate of the free world and nibble on cookies.
I’ve heard that this rabbit, not a bear mind you, will become an emblem for our grand institution. This new rodent will signify all that we stand for as a community: carrots, pretty fur, and the keen ability to sniff out colorful (non-denominational) Easter eggs.
Student Life reported that perhaps Nibbles should wear different outfits to signify events and emotions around campus. Team Redscare has put together a list of possible fashion combinations for Nibbles.
Monday: Nibbles will hold a can of Budweiser and have a “40% of Washington University Students Choose Not To Drink” pin affixed to his black shoulder bag.
Tuesday: Nibbles will don a women’s basketball jersey to signify our successes. He will also wear a warm fuzzy hat because it’s really cold in the Women’s Studies basement.
Wednesday: Nibbles will eat some chicken fingers, 48,000 pounds of them. Nibbles will also wear a faux-metal heart monitor and be largely responsible for the energy crisis.
Thursday: Nibbles will read a bedtime story.
Friday: Nibbles will munch on a genetically-engineered carrot while kow-towing to The Man while growing a third paw.
Saturday: Nibbles will do some homework that cannot be applied toanything, anywhere.
Sunday: Nibbles will sing some bunny songs and have a grand old time, because it’s getting warmer out, and the Chancellor is still wearing a suit and tie.
Team Redscare suggests that you start planning on meeting your friends at Nibbles’s right paw, because no doubt they’ll be some great memories made there.
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