Best ways to break the Overpass

The Overpass, which connects Danforth Campus to the Delmar Loop, has been under construction for quite some time now. The good news is that there’s still a path between campus and the Loop. The bad news is that it’s surrounded by sheets of wood, along with a set of shaky metal stairs that come down to street level. It only recently opened, and while it’s probably stable, it’s pretty easy to think about the ways it could collapse. I bet if we even put in a little effort, we could break the Overpass ourselves! Here are a few ideas—let us know if they work!

1. Bring your entire freshman floor. What better way to demonstrate your Loop love than to tow along 50 of your closest, loudest friends across the Overpass? If you guys make it across, celebrate your achievement by going out to eat at every restaurant on the Loop. Don’t bother calling ahead or making a reservation, just show up! Managers, servers and chefs love that. To really make their week, month or semester, show up every weekend! You get to practice not dying AND you get food. Who knows, by the end of your traipsing you might have enough points on your Chipotle Chiptopia card to earn a free burrito.

— Aidan Strassmann

2. Throw a rager. If you’ve ever seen (or smelled) a fraternity basement, you know that a party is a pretty good way to break stuff. Maybe the Overpass isn’t a typical party location, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t right. Actually, just turn the Overpass into a fraternity house! Bring a mattress up there! Live your best life until that Overpass breaks.

— Ella Chochrek

3. Walk on it. A simple stroll down the Overpass is probably all it takes to break it down. Sure, it sounds dangerous, but think of it as our very own City Museum right here on campus. For a more enjoyable experience, bring along your loved ones, roommates and pets. Just don’t wear open-toed shoes, and make sure to bring a helmet.

— Alberto De La Rosa

4. Unleash a pack of angry cats. Cats like to break stuff, and when they fall, they’re always fine, so why not let them hang out on a weird contraption that’s under construction? Just make sure that there’s at least three dozen of them, because cats really don’t weigh very much, and one cat probably would only be able to break some shoelaces or a vase or something. My cat broke, like, six pairs of earbuds, so he could definitely break the Overpass if he banded together with some friends.

– Ella Chochrek

5. Call your neighborhood Death Eaters. Wizarding fans everywhere may remember the tragic destruction of the Millennium Bridge in “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince,” but did you ever consider applying this terrifying tactic to your own life? Sassed by the hostess at Salt + Smoke? Had to wait at Blueberry Hill? Boom. Let the Death Eaters take care of that for you, Chris Christie-style. No bridge, no problem. Take that, Joe Edwards.

— Aidan Strassmann

Whichever way you choose to break the Overpass, just make sure you’re having fun!

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