Following in the footsteps of the Congress of the South 40’s WUStock survey, Social Programming Board recently released a two-fold survey for two of its biggest events next semester: the main comedy performer and the spring WILD artist. Surprisingly, while the comedy lineup is packed with a diverse array of well-known names that should have something to please to everyone, the WILD list left us feeling a little let-down. However, that doesn’t mean there aren’t some good acts hidden among the Eli Young Bands and Third Eye Blinds (does anyone even know a song by them that isn’t “Semi-Charmed Life”?). If you’re still stumped on how to rank the choices, Cadenza has picked both the artists and comedians we’d like to see come to campus next semester.

Comedians

John Mulaney

As a junior who will be abroad next semester, I’m very tempted to tell you not to vote for John Mulaney just so I don’t have to die of jealousy if he comes to campus. But I won’t do that, because that would be a huge disservice to the student body. Unfortunately, Mulaney is perhaps best known as the creator and star of “Mulaney,” a disappointing new Fox sitcom that’s teetering on the edge of cancellation.

Though the poorly reviewed show centers on a stand-up comedian named Mulaney, it’s not at all representative of the real Mulaney’s stand-up prowess. If you want to spend an hour laughing until your stomach hurts, check out the comedian’s oh-so-quotable, “Seinfeld”-esque special “New In Town” on Netflix. Or, if you want to see another side of Mulaney’s humor, watch any Stefon clip from “Saturday Night Live”—Mulaney is the mastermind behind this hilarious Bill Hader character. —Katharine Jaruzelski

“The Daily Show” Group

Honestly, Kristen Schaal alone is enough to spark my interest. The comedian is one of the many highlights of the animated show “Bob’s Burgers” and she performs great stand-up as well. Add in Jessica Williams and Jordan Klepper, two of “The Daily Show’”s best new correspondents, and this is quite the loaded show. Williams has done some of the best recent segments on the show and Klepper is fantastic at playing the comedic straight man.

“The Daily Show” has a history of finding great comedians and making them stars (just look at Steve Carell, Ed Helms, Stephen Colbert and John Oliver), so this would be a great chance to see these three before they hit it big. It’s unclear what the format of the show would be, but it seems the three would be incredibly entertaining working together. They each have distinctive comedic voices, so there’s plenty to like for anyone in the audience. —Noah Jodice

WILD Artists

Earl Sweatshirt

Part of the hip-hop collective Odd Future, Earl Sweatshirt has recently become a big name in his own right. His most recent album, “Doris,” was a dark, jazz-tinged trip through the rapper’s consciousness. An Earl show at WILD would be a nice extension of the tone Childish Gambino set last spring.

Earl isn’t the best option for those looking for huge party anthems or sing-alongs, but he’s one of the best young rappers out there. He’s also only 20 years old. It would certainly be a more intense show than, say, Third Eye Blind or Cobra Starship, but who needs safe and easy anyway? For many at Washington University, he may actually be one of the lesser-known names on the list of WILD choices. Still, if you want to hear some of the best hip-hop around, Earl’s your man. —Noah Jodice

Janelle Monae

Frequently touted as a spiritual successor to James Brown, Monae brings a classicist’s approach to modern rhythm and blues, favoring organic instrumentation and vocal precision over the hazy atmosphere of her contemporaries. But that doesn’t mean she’s not eclectic. Over two full-length albums and an EP, she’s explored funk, soul, hip-hop, rock and pop, compensating for the sometimes suffocating linearity of her laser-focused precision with an expansive palette. But where that focus can occasionally take the air out of her recorded work, it does the opposite for her live show, where she finds a release for her tightly wound perfectionism, flaunting moves worthy of the Godfather of Soul himself.

A Monae-headlined WILD would bring the kind of boundless energy that could unite both fans and newcomers alike. It would also mean that no part of my tuition will go to Big Sean, which is always nice. —Mark Matousek

Not Big Sean

Please, I beg you, do not list Big Sean anywhere near your top choices for spring WILD. As hip-hop’s resident leech, he’s inexplicably snuck his way onto otherwise stellar posse cuts (“Mercy,” “Clique,” “I Don’t Like”), weighing them down with unearned swagger and groan-inducing metaphors.

But his reign of terror extends far beyond good music. He’s made it his mission to work with each of his more talented peers, and for reasons that defy even the most generous logic, he’s largely succeeded. Kanye, Drake, Kendrick, Jay Electronica, Meek Mill, 2 Chainz, Pusha T—the list is endless. His targets have done their best to dampen his spirits (what, you thought it was a coincidence that K Dot saved his nastiest bars for a Big Sean cut?), but like all infectious diseases, Big Sean has proven difficult to shake. While we may have to live in a world full of Big Sean verses for a while longer, let’s keep them out of Brookings Quadrangle. It’s the least we can do. —Mark Matousek